Growing Up Pains

Someone tell me, when did I become officially old? I was at an event the other day. I looked around and saw 20-something year olds with pert breasts, perfectly rounded buttocks and the kind of views on life that I once had - I know that because I talked to a few of them. Back then, in my 20s - especially early to mid 20s - things were black and white. Fresh out of university, the world was my oyster. I wasn't a Christian then but there was a sense of rightness or wrongness about things. Nothing was ever grey or in between. If someone did something or disappointed me in any way, I automatically labelled the person as Not Good. Now, I'm in my 30s and hurtling towards my 40s. I have something called life experience and Christianity behind me. And I know that things are not always as simple as they seem. I've learnt that human beings are fallible and in life - to put it bluntly - shit happens. And that's all there is to it.

'I don't have a boyfriend and I want to get married!' One of the girls at the event wailed to me. She wasn't even 25.

'The world is so big and the opportunities to learn amazing things grow each day,' I said. 'If I was you, I would concentrate on finding out about these "things" and ultimately, yourself, before you start thinking of getting married.'

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. And I meant them all. It was the kind of stuff my aunts and other "Older People" would say and I would think that they were being condescending and patronising. And now, look at me, spouting off the same things they were. I suppose that's what married people mean when they look back on their single days and lament the things they didn't do nor treasure. Like time.

The 20-something, pert-breasted, tight buttocked 'independent' young lady looked at me. I knew what she saw; a never-married, over-the-hills woman dispensing advice to a woman on the threshold of life. She didn't have to say much, her look said it all. It was the same look that I used to give Older and Uncoupled people when I was her age. Needless to say, we left it there.

And now for some interesting news...
Communion Boy sat next to me in church today. Oh Lawd. I have never felt as conscious of a man as I did today in that service. I don't know what it is about him. He's not even my type. Needless to say, I'm watching and waiting to see how this particular story unfolds. I don't know where it will lead and I don't care. I'm just going to be a girl and enjoy all the fleeting emotions I did when I was a teenager in the throes of unbidden lust. Or like. Or whatever it is.