Not Just Any Man

Anybody can get a man. When I was at uni, one of my friends had a weekend guy. Someone she spent the weekends with for no-strings sex. I had someone like that as well for all of 8 weeks. The relationship died because the guy started getting other ideas. That was the first and only time I had such a relationship.

Now, I am a Christian and guys (non-Christians) still ask me out. I say yes to some and no to others. The challenge is discerning what their motives are. Some of them are good to hang out with and the rest of them...well, a few minutes in a coffee house with them is enough to tell me where they will like this particular relationship to go. Hint: not church. My point is that if my goal is to get a man, any man, then it's relatively easy to do so. But I just don't want any man. I want one that is right for me, foibles, irritating habits and all. And it's not impossible. It's just taking me a bit longer than others. That's all.

I'm blessed with wonderful, fantastic Christian male friends. Some of them are married and some aren't. We hang out, enjoy each other's companies and do lots of family stuff together. Even when I don't feel like it. Even when I don't want to be around their wives and children because I feel my own lack of other half. It doesn't matter. I grit my teeth and get on with it because it's not about me. It's about them. That was until a few months ago when I took time out but now, I think I'm ready to rejoin the fold.

Next Sunday, in church, instead of waiting for the church to empty so that I wouldn't have to navigate my way through the families and couples that usually hang around after a church service, I will make my way outside and give a friend's child a kiss and a hug. I will say hello to everyone I see instead of hurrying along like I have an important appointment so I wouldn't have to talk to anybody. And best of all, I will smile when I'm doing all this stuff because sometimes, the determination to do something is all we need to make a success of that thing.

'Jerusalem, you're always in a hurry. Slow down before you burn out,' people have been saying to me all these months.

I haven't been busy. I've just pretended to be busy so I wouldn't have to come to whatever event you're planning but not anymore. At least that's what I hope. Habits die hard and with autumn and dark nights approaching, I'm not sure that I'll succeed. But I'll try.

Communion Boy update
Last Sunday (16/09), he got on the tube and into the same carriage as I. This is the second week that this has happened. We spent the journey to church shooting each other surreptitious looks. After church, I was hanging out with my friends (see? I've already made good on my promise to get out some more and mingle). From the corner of my eye, I saw him dawdling on the pavement like he was waiting for somebody. Or something. But get this, he kept on shooting looks my way. I know this because I was watching him from the corner of my eyes.

I love this stuff! It's like being back in school!

I wonder what next week will bring?