Last Night

I am physically exhausted. Only had 3 hours sleep. Church was great. Really, really great. After the service, I lingered around, not to find someone to have dinner or hang out with as have been my habit of late, but to just soak in the presence of the Lord.

During the church service, I spoke to one of the "prayer warriors" in church. I had to speak to someone, I really thought I was losing my mind. I told her about the black hole and all the blackness surrounding me. She listened. It was such a relief to talk to someone about it. I sought her out because she didn't know me at all and sometimes, it's just easier to talk to people you don't know at all because there's no history between you. When I finished speaking, with tears and all, she said, "Jerusalem, I hear the Lord asking you to be still and to worship. That's it. Just be still. And worship. I know it can be hard to do those two things in the midst of your pain but that's what I believe the Lord is saying to you. Don't do anything. Just be still and worship. Try it for 5, 10 minutes a day for the next 7 days and if you sense the Lord asking you to carry on, then do so. But for now, be still. Worship and allow the Holy Spirit to fill you with Himself."

It was very easy to listen to the woman. If anybody else had told me what she said, I would've screamed blue murder or more than likely, walked off shaking my head at the enforced spirituality of pentecostals.

I left the woman intending to do exactly as she'd told me. I was a bit scared as my mind was still fragile but I knew one thing; I was going to worship and be still. I hadn't bargained for what would happen when I got home.

The night-time
I was really tired so I went to bed at about 9.00. I could not sleep. I knew I was tired. My body physically hurt but my mind was too active and my senses heightened. I could hear every creak in my flat and the traffic outside seemed so loud. Then my heart started beating really fast. At one point, I really thought it would jump out of my chest. When I couldn't bear it any longer, I went to my bedroom windows. They were securely locked. Yet, it was still like the traffic outside was in my room.

I went back to my bed. Every creak, heartbeat and everything else seeming even louder. My body ached physically and then, it started getting hotter and hotter. I touched my skin. It was boiling hot. I looked at my mobile. It was 1112pm. I'd been in bed for over two hours without sleeping.

Suddenly, I felt this thing coming down on me. Although I couldn't see it I knew it was dark and creepy. It was an unclean spiritual entity. I couldn't see it, but it was there, bearing down on me. I could feel it. "Jesus, Jesus," I could feel myself trying to say. I forced my mind, my head to get the words out and then I shouted in the dark, "The blood of Jesus covers me from head to toe. I am covered in the blood of Jesus and under his protection and nothing can harm me. In the name of Jesus, I command you to leave this room , this flat, right now, in the name of Jesus! You have no power over me because I am His. I command you to leave this room and this flat right now in Jesus name!" Then I turned on the light.

The power of the blood
"Nothing can harm me because my name is written in the palm of God's hands. I have the mind of Christ. I am more than a conqueror in Christ. I am saved by the blood of the Lamb. God knows the plan He has for my life. Plans of good not of evil. Because I am His child."

I repeated the words to myself over and over again and dozed off, still with the light on. I woke up again in an hour, unable to sleep. I wondered who to call. I only knew 1 person with the spiritual maturity to help me deal with this situation. In the end, I decided against calling the person because they also had to get to work today. It wasn't fair to wake them up so late. In any case, I reasoned, I'm a Christian and I know the authority I have over spiritual forces so I just kept on talking about the blood of Jesus and my authority in it.

Another hour later, I slept for about 3 hours and woke up. To be still and to praise my Lord, Saviour and Delieverer.

What I'm doing now
At work. On autopilot. Exhausted beyond measure. I know a spiritual battle took place last night with me at the centre. But it is well. I have the victory. I can do all things through Christ.