Saturday 25 August 2007

Going Arty

It’s occurred to me that I don’t have fun anymore. I’ve been so busy hiding my inner self from the world that I’ve lost the art of enjoying myself. So, this week, I’m going visiting; to the museums, galleries and the odd theatre. The first two are free and as for the theatre, well, I’ll figure something. Either way, the whole emphasis is on fun and rediscovering myself.

And now for some ludicrous news. I’ve been checking out a guy in church. I don’t know who he is or anything about him. I’ve only ever seen him twice and to be honest with you, I don’t think he knows I exist. My head tells me that someone like him is bound to be attached to someone. It’s sod’s law. But another part of me tells me it’s okay to dream. I hope I see the guy again. I don’t know what I’ll do if I do see him though. I might smile. I might look away or in all likelihood, just walk past, flashing a smile as I do so. Or not. I’m in my thirties. I can’t do coy anymore without looking stupid, so maybe I shouldn’t smile. Maybe I should just walk past. Maybe I should stop with the maybes and see how it goes.

I’m writing about this guy because last night, I dreamt of him, which was strange because I haven’t dreamt about someone I like for quite a while. Okay, years. He wasn’t even doing anything particular in the dream. He was just there. I’m not foolish enough to think that the dream is a sign from heaven. It was just odd, having that dream.

The image of Christ

I was called fat the other day. I walked into the person’s living room.

Jerusalem, you’re fat!” she exclaimed.

This is a delicate situation. I told her my body shape was quite weird and in any case, it wasn’t about how much one weighed. It was about clothes size. “I’m a UK size 10. The national clothes size average for a UK woman is a size 14,” I finished.

“Size or not, you’re still fat.”

I didn’t think I was affected until I realised that I’d been covering myself with a cardigan all week. The terrible weather helps but now, with the sun out, what am I supposed to do? I know I shouldn’t listen to what she said but words have a way of maiming one even if what is said is not necessarily true.

It is well.

7 comments:

uknaija said...

Interesting blog. Good that you're reviving your old interests

Thirty + said...

Can I just say the person who called you fat is ignoramus i.e. Ignorant

Anonymous said...

Hey! I know what you could've responded to that!!

"Yes I'm FAT...FAITHFUL, AVAILAVLE and TEACHABLE!!"

LOL :D

vindication through innocence said...

lol!!If you met him at church and ur unsure, just pray about it!honestly!!and the dream thing!*hiss* just allow it- it could be from the devil so like i said, just pray- ive been on someone for a while and ive been praying and its only now i actually realise why he is in my life!

Jaja said...

Revive those interests. Its your life, you might as well enjoy it.

Anonymous said...

hmmm! I say its all about being comfortable in your skin. If u feel comfortable and beautiful about urself...others will have no choice but to see you dat way....So I say, carry some air of confidence around you....they'd notice it.

UndaCovaSista said...

Lol @ 'I’m in my thirties. I can’t do coy anymore without looking stupid, so maybe I shouldn’t smile'.

I sooo know what you mean! And its a shame that some people just open their mouths and speak without a thought as to how their words might affect others...