Who Am I?

Who am I? That's the question that people ask, many times in the course of a lifetime. The Bible says that my name is engraved in the palms of God hands. That means that He cannot forget about me, even if He wanted to. Yet, I find myself wondering and searching for that elusive moment when I can say, this is it. This is really who I am and where I'm meant to be.

I have a great job and I've had a quite a few jobs in my lifetime, yet, I still have the undefined sense that there is something bigger out there. That this is not where I'm supposed to be. Some people call it the wandering eye syndrome. Sufferers are never satisfied with who or where they are because they're too busy looking for 'the big one', 'something better.' I don't think that's necessarily true because although I am content a lot of the time, I still cannot shake off the yearning feeling of there being more out there. Many women experience this. We yearn to belong, to be a part of something. When we're single, we yearn to be connected with someone. To be settled. Married. When we're married, for the most part we want (or yearn) in some cases to have children and during those seemingly interminable child-bearing and toddler years, we yearn to be validated outside the home. It's a perpetual cycle. Are we ever going to get to the stage when we can actually sit back and thank the Lord for where we are on the way to where we're going, because that's the challenge, isn't it?

The weather's rather arctic today. I need to hurry home. Today has been a good day.